Kick Start Your Journey To Self Discovery

Have you ever had to pause and think, “what am I doing with my life, and what do I want from life?” Maybe you have taken the first steps towards self-discovery but still have not reached where you want to be, or even do not know if you are yet on the right path.


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Self-discovery is not easy to achieve, but it should be an important goal for everyone to want to achieve. Many people go through life wearing a mask, hiding who they truly are, and others simply play the role of what others want them to be. The self-discovery journey helps us identify our true selves, our purpose, and our full potential.

What is Self Discovery?

Self-discovery sounds like a big intimidating concept that seems unachievable by all, but it is merely a process of discovering insight into your character. It is “the act of gaining knowledge or understanding of your abilities, character, and feelings.” It is the process of “gaining an understanding of oneself and one’s motivations and needs.”

Finding yourself sounds like a very self-centered goal, but it is, in fact, the opposite. It is the root of everything you do in your life. To be the best version and valuable person to yourself and towards others (being a partner/spouse or parent), you first have to know who you are, what you value, and what you have to offer. With self-discovery, you can regain and integrate parts of yourself that are true and authentic. You are removing layers that don’t fit you or do not describe you while at the same time building up who you genuinely are – knowing what you what, what defines you, and what ignites you.

Self-discovery is a personal journey in which you will learn to recognize your power while being open and vulnerable to the full experience. You may be afraid to take this step, but you shouldn’t be. Look at it through the eyes of curiosity and compassion. “Failure to embark on a pilgrimage of self-discovery will cheat us of the opportunity to understand who we are and what we want out of life.”


Kick start your

self-discovery journey

The process of self-discovery will look different for everyone. Getting to know your true authentic self is a journey that does not happen overnight but is a gradual process. This process helps you to learn who you are and what your purpose/path is in life. It will never be a straight and narrow path because life events that occur help shape and define who we are along the way to self-discovery.

You are in charge of your journey, and no one or anything should dictate the path you take and how long it takes you to get to where you want to be.

The journey to discovering yourself can be intimidating, it can be emotional, and it can even be frustrating. You may not know where to start and how to start the process, and as a result, you are simply just overwhelmed by it. Thankfully there is no right or wrong or set time in which a person has to go through this journey. The journey starts with self-awareness, which is having an increased understanding of who you are, your character, feelings, motives, and desires.

Having a self-awareness level as you begin your journey is important because “when you have a better understanding of yourself, you can experience yourself as unique and separate from others. You are empowered to make changes and to build on areas that need improvements.”

Steps to self-discovery

Your steps to self-discovery can be done in any order and at your own pace. There is no deadline to reach. Isn’t that amazing! As you read each, take time to pause and reflect as well. Your journey should be guided through self-question and examination of one’s thoughts, words, and actions. Why? Because it is what it needed to help you reach your true authentic self.

Questions to ask as you start your journey:

  • Who am I?
  • What do I want from life?
  • Where do I want to see myself 3-5 years from now?
  • What do I regret?
  • When do I feel most proud?
  • What motivates me and gives me drive?

So let’s dive right in! Here are guidelines you can take to start your journey:

1. Explore your passions 

Take a step back and think about the things you are passionate about. What is something(s) that you usually do and get completely lost in? This is where you flow effortlessly and quickly lose track of time. Think about what this may be and how you usually feel when you are doing something that brings you to life. Is it music? Is it cooking? Is it math? Is it helping others? Is it graphics? Is it writing? This is most likely what you are passionate about. Keep in mind, too, that your passions do not have to be limited to one thing only.

As you search for your passion, be mindful of things you dislike and the emotions that arise because it will be an indicator that this may not be where your passion lies.

2. Identify your core values

Re-evaluate the things that are of high importance to you. These are your values. Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live your life and how you work. They help you determine your priorities and measure who you aim to be and where you are in life. When you know your values, you know your self-worth because they both go hand in hand.

3. Practice self-love

Self-love is the act of fully accepting who you are, treating yourself with respect and guidance, and nurturing your growth and overall well-being. Self-love is being compassionate to yourself and being your best friend. It encompasses how you treat yourself as well as how you feel about yourself. Self-love is being able to see your self-worth and value and not let it waiver by anyone. Take time out to show yourself the loves it deserves. This is important to your overall well being because it helps to motivate you into nurturing who you are meant to be. With a healthy love for yourself, you can feel confident on your path to self-discovery.

4. Step outside your comfort zone

Thinking about stepping out of your comfort zone can be pretty scary and daunting, but we often stop learning and exploring ourselves when we get comfortable in life. We become stagnant in our personal growth as well. As you go through this self-discovery journey, push yourself to step out of that comfort zone.

Make an intentional effort to try and learn new things. As you do this more often and become comfortable with being outside your comfort zone, you will start to realize that there are so many things out there that can bring about new passions for you and give you insight into the person you have always wanted to be. This, in itself, is personal growth.

5. Learn your mental capabilities

Your mental health is of high importance when it comes to processing your self- discovery. It is essential to know what you can manage mentally and what you can’t. Having a clear outline of this will help you along the way. Don’t get up with the idea that you have to have a deadline for your self-discovery journey. This alone will cause you to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Putting your mental health in jeopardy defeats the purpose of finding yourself. Go at your own pace and not the pace of others. Look for the signs that may indicate anxiety, a possible nervous breakdown, or burnout. The path to self-discovery means that you empower, affirm, and uplift, all that is true about you.

6. See failure as part of the success

For years we have been brainwashed to think that failures are this dreaded thing, that if it happens, it means the end of all things. When these failures occur, we often feel lost and lose touch with who we are. Struggles and failures create frustration that often sets us back but do not let that break you. Instead, begin to change this negative thought pattern and think of struggles as challenges and failures as your path to future success. Engage in positive self-talk/affirmations to help you reframe those negativities into positivity.

7. Accept that you are not perfect

To be your authentic and true self, you must be willing to look at yourself and be okay with all that you are. No one is perfect; we all have flaws and accepting ourselves and having an openness to change and grow is a part of self-love and self-acceptance. Self-love and self-acceptance are vital in uncovering the layers about you.

8. Surround yourself with growers

Have you ever been around people that are always saying something negative to you or bringing you down? Have you ever reflect on how you felt during that time? How did you feel after? If people who do not have your best interest at heart surround you, it can stunt your self-discovery growth. You will not be able to be your true self and may even lose sight of where you want to be. Set boundaries and eliminate or limit your exposure to this kind of negativity and surround yourself with people who lift you up and encourage growth in you and within themselves.

Why is self-discovery important?

The process of self-discovery will look different for everyone. Getting to know your true authentic self is a journey that does not happen overnight but is a gradual process. This process helps you to learn who you are and what your purpose/path is in life. It will never be a straight and narrow path because life events that occur help shape and define who we are along the way to self-discovery.

You are in charge of your journey, and no one or anything should dictate the path you take and how long it takes you to get to where you want to be.

Thinking of the path ahead may be overwhelming because you will not know what you may find at the end, but on this journey, you will learn about self-love, learn what you love, what you are good at, and your true strengths and limits. Self-discovery takes work, but it is a beautiful and humbling experience where you learn so much more about yourself. It leads you down the path of living your life authentically while revealing to you along the way all the wisdom and power you hold within. It is not something easy to achieve, but it should be something everyone should aim for.



Rebekah Charles

Rebekah Charles

37 Responses

  1. This is a great post. I love that you point out Mental capacity. Sometimes with other things going on it is just not the right time to focus on self discovery. I know for me this was very true while I was processing my childhood trauma for example. Thank you for the post

  2. I think my core belief is to do something that will help others, but other than that, I’m at a loss. I don’t really enjoy anything and don’t really have any drive. Thanks depression. But my imposter syndrome holds me back the most

  3. Really nice post. I love all the tips shared. I’m into self discovery and hoping to become a better person and understand myself more. Thanks for sharing.

    1. You are more than welcome Lynn! I can certainly relate! At times I still feel as though I am not where I need to be. I feel down about it at times, but I try to look at it on the positive side, where this is the type for me to venture out of my comfort zone, for growth!

  4. Self-discovery is super important. I’m still learning myself for sure, and it’s definitely a lot harder when you’re kind of stuck in a living situation where you can’t FULLY be yourself. Not having that full freedom really hinders the journey, but there are still things I’m discovering, especially as I go through this other journey of becoming a creator and entrepreneur. So many of these points I still need to do or learn, and I’m excited to see my growth when I do so. Great post as always!

    1. Deandra thanks so much for your feedback! I def agree with you that life circumstances can hinder us from growing into our true selves! But I am happy that you still on that path to self-discovery, So am I. Keep doing what you are doing, you will reach our destination!

  5. Love this post! I’ve been feeling very unsettled for years now around what I want to do as a career, constantly switching jobs etc! The questions on your post is really helpful, I think I’m gonna write them out in my journal as a start point! I also like that you talk about mental capacity, I’m definitely one for burning myself out!

    1. Nicci, it is not very easy trying to find our true authentic selves! Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it is overwhelming. Take it one say at a time, and go at your pace! You will get there!

  6. A journey I’m taking at the moment. There are some days I take a few steps back during this process. It’s hard to find you sometimes. But I’m also learning alot about myself.

  7. Beautiful post. I agree with all the points especially that of stepping outside of the comfort zone. Personally, I have been taking consistent efforts to step out of my comfort zone for the past year and I have seen how much it has helped me evolve.

  8. Burnout was the outcome I dealt with a few years ago and the journey of recovery was long. Thank you for emphasizing the need to realize our limitations 🙂

  9. Such great tips!!! I have found on my own journey that my story is constantly evolving… who I am, what I want, goals etc. the important part tho as you’ve pointed out is to be continuously striving to be better, do better. Thank you for sharing!

  10. Thank you so much for the amazing post. These are also great journal prompts and I’m definetly going to use them and journal because I’m into self development.

  11. Great Post Rebekah! I did a ton of self-discovery in 2020 because of my injury and needing to change my career path because of that. I think I’m finally on a path at all holds a lot more happiness and freedom for me though. still working on making that happen but excited about where I’m headed. Thank you for another amazing post!

    1. Thanks so much for your feedback Clarissa. I am happy that you enjoyed it. The path to self-discovery is not an easy road to take, but there is beauty and peace at the end. I am still working on my path to self-discovery.

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Hello & Welcome!

HEY! I’m Rebekah, but everyone calls me Bekah or Becky.

I work for adults who suffer from Mental Illnesses and/or have Intellectual Disabilities. I provide Behavioral Therapeutic Services, among other services to this population.

I am a proud Black Caribbean girl who loves a good drama TV show and trying new foods. I love looking for great deals at HomeGoods, & TJ Maxx Stores. My favorite snack is popcorn!

I love love love Psychology and the work that I do.  It’s a humbling and rewarding experience.

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Rebekah Charles

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